I can feel myself slowly falling off.
I told you, I told you if you ever gave up on me that I would probably just give up on myself.
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my inbox is always open
A couple hours ago, Jesus called me randomly. I mean he does this, but I thought he was asking about the camping trip or whatever. He was like, man, I wish I could’ve gone, and we were teasing each other like we always do when he asks me,
"Hey, do you mind if I talk to you about something, like, in private?"
This was off behavior for him ‘cause he’s a pretty open person so.. I didn’t know what to expect. I go to my room and his voice cracks and he goes on to tell me that Bonnie has been having doubts about their relationship. Apparently she’s been going out a lot (which is something he’s not really into or approves of, but what can he do, you know?) and met a guy from high school. That last part is irrelevant for all I know, but idk.
I guess from what he told me, she’s felt like they’ve been drifting and they’ve been distant which is completely out of nowhere to Jesus and it.. just breaks my heart ‘cause.. out of every couple I know, I never would have expected it from Bonnie and Jesus. They have always been happy, successful, and just.. Idk. You just wouldn’t think they were dysfunctional. Jesus thought so, too, apparently but..
And it’s scary ‘cause they have a kid together.
I tried my best to calm Jesus down, but I didn’t know what to tell him. We never really have these sort of conversations, maybe one or two here and there but they’re never super serious. And it’s weird ‘cause I’ve never given him advice on relationships. I told him they just need to talk, as stubborn as Bonnie is, it still needs to happen.. And that maybe Bonnie just settled down too fast and still wants to feel young, like she’s going through a quarter life crisis - or a mid-life crisis really early now that I think about it.
I’m hurt ‘cause I’ve never heard Jesus so vulnerable. I’ve never heard him so scared. He sounded so desperate and my heart broke for him, and saying that alone just makes me realize that it is just something I thought I’d never think or say. He kept telling me, “I just want that flame to be there, you know? That fire. I told her I’m willing to change, whatever she wants me to do, I’ll do it.”
He’s never known anyone else but Bonnie, she’s been his life since they met in high school.
He ended the phone call with, “Thanks for talking to me, man. I’ve been wanting to call you all weekend, but you know. I really appreciate it even though I did most of the talking. I consider you and Peter my brothers for real, you know? Thank you.”
doesn’t it suck when you’re the reason someone put their guard up
why didn’t you just say that in the last message haha
thanks, hey. White girls are cool. If you’re not one then nvm.
Eh. I guess.
Why are you sharing this with me